In her warm, relatable style, Kay Wills Wyma confronts societal issues – from the comparison epidemic to the entitlement trend to life’s pressures resulting in Overwhelmed – encouraging audiences and offering remedies (plus a little laughter) along the way.
Local and national groups (PTAs, charitable organizations, churches, student groups – university and high school – women’s events/retreats, etc) regularly invite Kay to share on these and other topics. All of which reminds her, as she hopes to remind others, we’re walking this road together.
Fall 2017 Speaking:
- July 13: Salesmanship Club of Dallas – Father/Daughter Luncheon
- August 30 – First Presbyterian Amarillo Women’s Gala
- Sept 11 – Heights Baptist MOPS
- Sept 28 – Noel A. Smith Elementary PTA
- Oct 10 – Mother’s Heart, Park Cities Presbyterian Church
- Oct 12 – Bent Tree Bible MOPS
- Oct 17 – National Charity League, Addison Chapter
- Jan 11: HPISD Talented and Gifted
- Jan 18: First Baptist Grapevine, MOMs Girls Night Out
- Feb 23-25: Pine Cove Camps – Mother/Daughter Retreat
- Feb 27: Park Cities Presbyterian Church – Come to the Table
- April 4: Trinity Christian Academy – Moms of Young Learners
- April 6: Wilshire Baptist Church, MOPS
- April 12: Trinity Christian Academy – Middle School Moms
- April 15: Highland Park United Methodist Church – Parent Quarterly
- April 18: HPISD 5th Grade Lunch Bunch
- May 11: National Charity League – Frisco Chapter Mother/Daughter Joint Meeting
- May 16: Dallas Theological Seminary – Women’s Day
- May 17: Dallas Theological Seminary – Women’s Day
- Mondays Sept – Oct Highland Park United Methodist Church
- Oct 11: Association for Women in Ministry Professions
Blurbs for most requested topics. Contact [email protected] for info on others.
- Comparison Pressures
- Taming Entitlement
- YOU-nique: Giftedness & Purpose
- Identity & Self Worth
Comparison is the shortest route to a long funk. Our friends become our audience (or judges) and our titles, activities, even kids become part of our brand. Factor in comparison-infested social media and no wonder we’re drained and feeling isolated. But we have options. With its focus on smarter, faster, thinner, younger, and ever better, Obsessive Comparison Disorder has taken over homes across the globe.
Kay Wyma shares tips and strategies on how to recapture contentment in our lives and in our homes. Join her on a candid, humorous exploration of comparison’s traps and others-oriented solutions.
Some related articles/media:
- National Radio Interviews: NPR’s Think with Kris Boyd, Family Life Today – The Danger of Comparison, Eric Metaxas Show, Dr. James Dobson’s Family Talk
- Graduates, Listen to Your Mom (Kay Wyma, USA Today, 6/15)
- Pressures of Perfection (NYT, 7/15) and related post The Battle with Best (themoatblog 7/15)
- New Study Links Facebook to Depression (Forbes 4/15)
Discussion questions for your group:
- How do you define comparison? Do you agree with Theodore Roosevelt’s definition: “Comparison is the thief of joy.” What are some specific actions you can take to see beyond the moment?
- How does concern about what others think of us drive our choices and behaviors?
- What societal trends/practices (social media, personal branding, kid-achievements, … fill in the blank and share 🙂 tempt contentment disruption in your life?
- What practical methods are available to turn down the volume on comparison pressures? How can we use them in our own lives and help others around us to be able to breathe and find joy in the midst?
With the greatest of intentions and in the name of love, parents hover, race in to save, arrange for success, overprotect, and enable their children. Take one frustrated mom add some overly messy rooms, a few well-placed whines and five unintentionally enabled kids and welcome to one family’s adventure to stop entitlement. Because kids can do more than they (or we) think they can.Some related articles/media:
- The TODAY Show segment: CNN Interview: Are We Raising a Generation of Helpless Kids?, Fox & Friends: Do Your Kids Think Money Grows on Trees? , and Glenn Beck: Fighting Against the Growing Entitlement Society
- Let Them Climb Trees (and fall) 6/12 (Kay Wyma, NYT Motherlode)
- America & the Value of Earned Success, Arthur Brooks, WSJ
- Why Parents Need to Let Their Children Fail, Jess Lahey, The Atlantic
Discussion Questions for your group:
- What role does how you were raised play in the way you parent?
- What pressures do you think are the most difficult for parents?
- How have these pressures affected your relationship with your spouse? your kids? your extended family?
- Are there any areas where you can see yourself racing in to save or over-hovering? What motivates us to do it?
- What are some areas that you might try to increase your child’s responsibility in your home?
- What do you think will be the hardest area to let go?
- How can we encourage each other and walk the road together?
This fun talk begins with a little March-Madness-like bracket: all the things screaming for our attention fighting to get to a “seasonal” Final Four which addresses the “chaos.” (Huffington Post was nice to run Kay’s May-Madness bracket, then invite her to their blogging platform. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kay-wyma/dialing-down-maymadness_b_9781630.html)
Then moves on to Wannabe the place where kids and adults alike allow self-worth and identity to be subject to the whims of the day in order to fill deeper needs:
- Fame (the need to be known)
- Pressures to Fit In (the need to be accepted)
- acting/doing/being (the need to be loved)
- Mindfulness Trend (seeing beyond what is seen – mind-sight is NOT 20/20)
The topic of giftedness and purpose, uniquely a part of every human, is addressed via a new form of “Helicopter Parenting.” Rather than hover to control, we can hover to get a broad view in order to offer much-needed perspective, something that is hard to access when we’re in the trenches. It works with friends, too. And is especially helpful in the hectic.
Then, try to enjoy every one of life’s crazy car-driving/trying-to-get-it-all-done-on-no-sleep minutes because they go TOO FAST – and maybe sneak in a quick-grab lunch with friends (one of the only tasks on the seasonal-bracket that we really want to do.)
Has a pant-size tag ever affected your mood? Have your kids (you?) ever been pressured by fashion? Have you ever called a friend and asked, “Hey … what you are you wearing?” but still wondered if you’re wearing the right thing?
We’ve all been there. Clothing-issues have been around since the beginning of time. It started in a Garden where a pair tried desperately to handle a major wardrobe malfunction by doing, striving, making, fixing, & working in order to be dressed right/to get back to God – all in the form of a few fig leaves.
But the Lord didn’t leave them in their shame. Those thousands of years ago, God came to them and clothed them in perfect provision. Then He went a ginormous step further several years later and provided them/us clothing on the inside. And the clothing He has personally-tailored for us is out-of-this-world royalty that fits to perfection, sewn with threads of peace and joy and contentment.
So – what are you wearing? God has a few items waiting for you in the dressing room, tailor-made, specifically for you.
One thing about Overwhelm: it’s an equal opportunity invader. We all feel it, fight it and try to overcome it. Like a shape-shifter, it morphs into different forms at different life-stages and confronts us in innumerable situations (marriage/no-marriage, kids/no-kids, fitness, education, job, finances, responsibilities, aging-parents, retirement, politics, etc.). It rides on the back of stress-infused pressures that begin early in life and seemingly have no end. Kids can crumble under it. Parents frantically search to find lifelines for themselves and for those they love in the midst of it. We reach for the Superman/Wonder Woman do-all/be-all cape, hoping for at least a duct-tape fix so we can just keep going.
Overwhelmed might be a life-fixture (and carrying a big, loud stick), but the basis upon which it finds significance – through expectations, performance pressures, academics, sports, over-filled calendars, cultural trends, etc. – and the degree to which it affects our day depends in large part upon us. So, what if we could take Overwhelmed’s negative nature and diffuse it or, better yet, flip it to good?
It’s time to start hydrating for pressure-days, for Overwhelmed (because like change, the prospect of Overwhelmed rearing its uninvited head is inevitable) – kind of like a race to stay sane. And, if I was planning on running a marathon sometime in the near future, I would train – and hydrate. Because, as any athlete knows, by the time you feel thirsty – it’s too late.
This talk offers fun, relatable and practical tips on hydrating for the pressure-days so we can thrive rather than simply try to survive. And maybe offer a drink to the person running alongside.
Kay Wills Wyma is a blogger, mother of five, and author. With candor and humor, Kay’s latest book, I’m Happy for You (Sort of … not really) explores the troubling effects of living in a comparison-laced culture. Through it and her first book Cleaning House, she has appeared on NPRs Think, The Eric Metaxas Show, TODAY Show, CNN, Glenn Beck, The New York Times, Focus on the Family (Best of 2013), Family LIfe, Dr. James Dobson’s Family Talk (Best of 2013) and more. Before becoming a stay-at-home mom, she held positions at the White House, the Staubach Company, and Bank of America. Kay lives in the Dallas area with her husband, Jon, and their family